HELLiday News

Howdy kids we’re  here today to talk about Christmas decor.

Everywhere I look I see green and red lights or white and blue twinkling light, happy santa statues and eight tiny reindeer.  There are stars, green trees, red berries – well the list goes on.
The problem herre is that it’s the same old boring thing from house to house. No variation, no originality.

If you’re like us, you know that walking in lock step with your neighbors is a recipe for going insane and next thing you know you’re up on a water tower with a high powered rifle and… well that’s a story for another HELLiday.

So what’s a faithful HELLiday celebrant to do? Deck your halls in a completely different theme.

Our favorite theme is the Halloween-mas variety. You know, Halloween came and went, but you were either too lazy to put away the decorations or you were so attached to them you wanted the holiday to just continue.

I say use it. Nothing says  the HELLidays like a skeleton santa or bats carrying bags of presents for good little boys and girls.

Do you have a severed head laying around or mounted on a pike? Head down to the craft store and look for a styrofoam head used for wigs or jewelry. They’re  full size and usually between $5 and $10 for really fancy ones.
Use plain old craft paint to paint them. Put a white layer as a base first to seal the styrofoam then paint them in flesh tones or any evil color you wish.
HELLy recommends glow in the dark paint for the eyes so you can use black light to make them really shine – or alternately just glow on their own for a little while after dark.

Now get yourself a santa hat and pin it onto the head.

For a beheaded Elf – get soe foamie sheets, cut out pointed ear shapes and either pin or  glue them to the head – make sure to use glue that’s safe for the styrofoam.  
Put some red paint around the base  of the neck – if you’re really feeling sick, get some halloween fake blood and drizzle it down the neck and onto the stake you’re impaling the sucker on.

For a beheaded Santa, get some polyfill and make matted hair and a big fluffy beard. Use the blood to maybe spattter the hair. OR you can find yourself a Santa beard in a craft or dollar store  and pin or glue it to the head.
Personally I think the stake should be painted in red and white stripes so your beheaded elf or santa is on a candy cane.

Hmmm, gotta head out myself to the hobby store and buy a couple foam heads and do this, with rope lights leading up to my severed dead display. The homefront needs to be properly decked for the HELLiday after all.

Now a slightly more high end method for this but not quite as customizable  is to buy Halloween props of severed heads and dress them up in santa hats and fake hair and beards.
It will look more lifelike but be much more expensive. 
Nothing says the holidays like a row of  severed Elf heads leading up to your doorway. (Click the pic to purchase this great severed head)

Lights: Red, purple these are wonderful colors. Red still says Christmas but keeps that dark halloween gothic feel.  Now I know you’re classy so instead of just draping the lights randomly all over, consider outlining your house’s roofline and corners to make a wire frame style light up of your house. Regular holiday bulb strands work well but really, ropelights are much more versatile and less prone to damage when hanging. 
Also, rope lights can be used to spell out words, or make drawings in light on your lawn. Nothing says christmas like a nice red christmas star (5 points of course) with a nice green circle of a wreath around it on your lawn. (Yes that’s a pentagram for those who cant visualize)

Trees: basic black is nice. You can just decorate it with white or silver  ornaments or even just some lights. We recommend single color lights; after all, multiple  colored  twinkling lights are soooo tacky.
Now you can always go for the inverse concept and have a nice white tree with black or metalic purple ornaments. A white tree with purple or red lights is really sexy.

I’m always a fan of rich fabrics draping things like doorways, mantles or railings. It adds a nice holiday flair and allows you to choose colors that fit your mood. Just please, avoid the traditional green, red and gold. They are so overused. Nice royal purples, midnight blue work wonderfully for a dark yet luxurious feel. And if you’re worried about it being too dark, you can always throw in hints of flash with silver or gold trims, bangles etc.

Finally, here’s a thought to try, when putting out your manger scene, you’ll do your normal baby, mother and cuckold err I mean Joseph and even the animals if you like but instead of the three wise men, you display the three Wise Guys! Thats right, either dress up your existing wise men in guido suits and white ties, maybe add some tommy guns or pistols OR if you dont have any wise men, you can find inflatable figures, cloth dummies or even more expensive mannequins to dress in the proper mafia attire.

Maybe put some Chthulu statues instead of angels or animals. Just keep in mind that if you get blasphemous, your friends and neighbors who aren’t as open minded as you may take offense and you’ll either get into an argument or have your display damaged or demands for its removal. So decorate responsibly.

Use your imagination, make the HELLiday your own. Eat drink and make merry this season.

Happy HELLiday!